Been more than a month since I last gamed. It’s hard to share anything unless you are crushing those gaming barriers day and day out. When you are busy breaking your neck on other things, girls do come last. This reminds me of an extract from Krauser’s Balls Deep where the Master decided to hand over the red letter to pursue his newly found love of seduction after deciding to come out of the slavery cage. He had tons of cash stuffed in his bank by that time. Meanwhile, the writer of this boring piece of article is just your run of a mill guy taking baby steps into the real world. Men reach their peak in their 30s and it’s one of the reasons for their success with women. Many won’t disagree. I’m not going to ramble about Krauser nor complain about all those guys out there chasing skirts efficiently. Jealousy* does happen, sometimes it’s inevitable.
Getting down to business. During my Euro Jaunt couple of months ago, I met an American guy** in Lithuania. The guy was barely a player but he passed me a book, ‘Trying Not To Try’by Edward Slingerland. I stashed it in a corner of my bag at that moment, vowing to read it in the future which I pleasantly did. I failed to finish the book before losing it in the train I recently took, but I learned quite a bit about the essence of spontaneity and charisma.
The book speaks of early Chinese philosophy of Wu-wei(spontaneity) and De(charisma). The person might not be able to explain his actions nor give out the abstract information of his work. He meanwhile, knows how to do it. Give a champion cyclist a bicycle, he can ride it, can he teach others to ride as efficiently as him, maybe not. Out of oblivion, we tend to mess things up by over thinking rather than going with the tide. Wu-wei in principal means being in the zone by flowing with the current rather than stopping and analyzing or even worst, fighting it. The power of spontaneity is often overlooked, especially by newcomers which is not rare. As time flies, they are amazed by their own ability that they feel like they were born naturals. Not indeed, by practice and hard work, we learn to navigate through tiny gaps, avoiding barriers, then ticking the spontaneity box, before finally reaching our objectives.
Then comes De, our beloved charisma. Spontaneity results in charisma. A free flowing act will have people talking on how well you mastered the craft. Working hard in the other hand will make people question the difficulty behind it and cast endless doubts on your craftsmanship. A person with charisma appears unselfconscious. His acts, his words and his state of mind are always active and effective. He is one with his environment and thrives in it. A butcher skillfully cuts down an ox with minimal effort, a drunk man falling from his caravan getting up uninjured and Confucians daily repetitive beneficial habits enabling them to master the art of spontaneity. These people attained the state of Wu-wei and De at a certain point in their life.
Game is no different. The stages people go through varies based on their social intelligence. For a ‘Once Upon A Time Chode’ like me though was quite difficult.
1. Distorted Brain
Your subconsciousness does not have the input to allow your consciousness to approach without fear, resulting in approach anxiety. You lack faith and do not believe that you can succeed with women. You feel that cold approaching hot girls might get you killed.
2. Slow adaptation
You somehow muster enough courage to cold approach some girls. Brain starts to adapt slowly to your new endeavors. Full faith has not been achieved yet. Large portion of anxiety still exist but the few good experiences make you realize that approaching girls is not dangerous at all. You still get to live a normal life without being killed by man hating people.
3. Initiation of spontaneity
You start making routines and practicing lines. You spend a couple of minutes in front of the mirror talking to yourself. Your are training your subconsciousness to initiate spontaneity. Despite your best effort, your consciousness is not connected entirely to your inner self, hence the robot like expressions during pick up.
4. Auto initiation
By this time some of your routines might have worked or failed. You become aware of those successful ones and learn the essence behind them. You put in more practice by doing more sets. After certain amount of time, your approach anxiety is reduced to an extreme level. Certain conversations flow automatically. I started jumping like a mad man when I number closed a Korean girl *** after my first 20 minutes of free flow chit chat. I literally went in without preparing any memorized lines.
5. One with the environment
In another word, normalization of the act. You are happy when you approach girls. You still get nervous from time to time. But you brain becomes aware of the mistakes and you improve fast. Your spontaneity level keeps on increasing. Your subconsciousness understands that cold approaching is normal and your consciousness is aware of any given opportunity. The sets does not sap your energy but in return becomes a booster. You are turning into a powerful beast.
6, Being in that moment
Spontaneity resulting in ultimate verbal bamboozling. Its you and the girl in your own bubble. This is where you will bombard her with your ultimate charisma game. Not easy to achieve and some people rarely get here.
Spontaneity and charisma are two interlocked traits. One of the topmost male sexual market value is ‘Charisma’. Game meanwhile is a tool which allows you to sell yourself in the best way possible to girls resulting in the need of charisma. Put to work, you create it enough to blast up your place in the sexual market. The best way to achieve it is hardcore practice and desire to succeed with women. There is a reason why the best seducers out there have been grinding at it for years and years. The same reason why 90 % of guys call it a day even before the first hurdle.
* I am extremely jealous of those guys day gaming in Europe, quality in SEA is shittier that those ghetto french girls.
** This guy spoiled my last day night out in Vilnius when I was beaming myself into god mode in a night club. I was not surprised the next day when I got had a hefty hangover.
*** I’m not into Asian girls but this girl was hot and flaked on me after setting up a date.