Path to Wu-wei and De

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Been more than a month since I last gamed. It’s hard to share anything unless you are crushing those gaming barriers day and day out. When you are busy breaking your neck on other things, girls do come last. This reminds me of an extract from Krauser’s Balls Deep where the Master decided to hand over the red letter to pursue his newly found love of seduction after deciding to come out of the slavery cage. He had tons of cash stuffed in his bank by that time. Meanwhile, the writer of this boring piece of article is just your run of a mill guy taking baby steps into the real world. Men reach their peak in their 30s and it’s one of the reasons for their success with women. Many won’t disagree. I’m not going to ramble about Krauser nor complain about all those guys out there chasing skirts efficiently. Jealousy* does happen, sometimes it’s inevitable.

Getting down to business. During my Euro Jaunt couple of months ago, I met an American guy** in Lithuania. The guy was barely a player but he passed me a book, ‘Trying Not To Try’by Edward Slingerland. I stashed it in a corner of my bag at that moment, vowing to read it in the future which I pleasantly did. I failed to finish the book before losing it in the train I recently took, but I learned quite a bit about the essence of spontaneity and charisma.

The book speaks of early Chinese philosophy of Wu-wei(spontaneity) and De(charisma). The person might not be able to explain his actions nor give out the abstract information of his work. He meanwhile, knows how to do it. Give a champion cyclist a bicycle, he can ride it, can he teach others to ride as efficiently as him, maybe not. Out of oblivion, we tend to mess things up by over thinking rather than going with the tide. Wu-wei in principal means being in the zone by flowing with the current rather than stopping and analyzing or even worst, fighting it. The power of spontaneity is often overlooked, especially by newcomers which is not rare. As time flies, they are amazed by their own ability that they feel like they were born naturals. Not indeed, by practice and hard work, we learn to navigate through tiny gaps, avoiding barriers, then ticking the spontaneity box, before finally reaching our objectives.

Then comes De, our beloved charisma. Spontaneity results in charisma. A free flowing act will have people talking on how well you mastered the craft. Working hard in the other hand will make people question the difficulty behind it and cast endless doubts on your craftsmanship. A person with charisma appears unselfconscious. His acts, his words and his state of mind are always active and effective. He is one with his environment and thrives in it. A butcher skillfully cuts down an ox with minimal effort, a drunk man falling from his caravan getting up uninjured and Confucians daily repetitive beneficial habits enabling them to master the art of spontaneity. These people attained the state of Wu-wei and De at a certain point in their life.

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Game is no different. The stages people go through varies based on their social intelligence. For a ‘Once Upon A Time Chode’ like me though was quite difficult.

1. Distorted Brain

Your subconsciousness does not have the input to allow your consciousness to approach without fear, resulting in approach anxiety. You lack faith and do not believe that you can succeed with women. You feel that cold approaching hot girls might get you killed.

2. Slow adaptation

You somehow muster enough courage to cold approach some girls. Brain starts to adapt slowly to your new endeavors. Full faith has not been achieved yet. Large portion of anxiety still exist but the few good experiences make you realize that approaching girls is not dangerous at all. You still get to live a normal life without being killed by man hating people.

3. Initiation of spontaneity

You start making routines and practicing lines. You spend a couple of minutes in front of the mirror talking to yourself. Your are training your subconsciousness to initiate spontaneity. Despite your best effort, your consciousness is not connected entirely to your inner self, hence the robot like expressions during pick up.

4. Auto initiation

By this time some of your routines might have worked or failed. You become aware of those successful ones and learn the essence behind them. You put in more practice by doing more sets. After certain amount of time, your approach anxiety is reduced to an extreme level. Certain conversations flow automatically. I started jumping like a mad man when I number closed a Korean girl *** after my first 20 minutes of free flow chit chat. I literally went in without preparing any memorized lines.

5. One with the environment

In another word, normalization of the act. You are happy when you approach girls. You still get nervous from time to time. But you brain becomes aware of the mistakes and you improve fast. Your spontaneity level keeps on increasing. Your subconsciousness understands that cold approaching is normal and your consciousness is aware of any given opportunity. The sets does not sap your energy but in return becomes a booster. You are turning into a powerful beast.

6, Being in that moment

Spontaneity resulting in ultimate verbal bamboozling. Its you and the girl in your own bubble. This is where you will bombard her with your ultimate charisma game. Not easy to achieve and some people rarely get here.

Spontaneity and charisma are two interlocked traits. One of the topmost male sexual market value is ‘Charisma’. Game meanwhile is a tool which allows you to sell yourself in the best way possible to girls resulting in the need of charisma. Put to work, you create it enough to blast up your place in the sexual market. The best way to achieve it is hardcore practice and desire to succeed with women. There is a reason why the best seducers out there have been grinding at it for years and years. The same reason why 90 % of guys call it a day even before the first hurdle.

* I am extremely jealous of those guys day gaming in Europe, quality in SEA is shittier that those ghetto french girls.

** This guy spoiled my last day night out in Vilnius when I was beaming myself into god mode in a night club. I was not surprised the next day when I got had a hefty hangover.

*** I’m not into Asian girls but this girl was hot and flaked on me after setting up a date.

Text Chronicles 1

In my humble opinion, my text game suck. I have lost some pretty good lead resulting from my abhorrent texting methods. I have decided to scrutinize one of my leads that buckled up during my “Deadline Days” in France.

A  blonde Frenchie with light hazel eyes whom I number closed in Lyon. A dream come true for every fucking Indian immigrant out there, yes even me. She was a HB 7 for me, maybe 6 for the extravagant Master PUA’s. She was wearing a flashy green cardigan, standing out from the dull routinised snobs. I used it as a conversation starter, complimenting it. Usual rapport building, some tease, compliance while always trying to connect emotionally. The latter, still a word disguised by stormy clouds in my brain, the notion complicated.

I sensed a fish in the net but still capable of wriggling its way out. So, I pinged her the same day, a few hours after the initial approach.

Me : This reminds me of your green blouse. You still wearing it ;).I reused a context from my initial approach by sending her a picture of a green colored washing detergent.

Her : Haha! Now you are seeing it everywhere. Normal ^-^. She replied me within 10 minutes. She played along. A good sign

Me : But it’s not normal to give a stranger your phone number just 20 minutes after talking to him. Are you always that nice with people? I decided to change the mood and challenge her. Ended with typical LDM text opener.

Her : Only with the nice ones. That doesn’t mean that I am not careful. We can sense it.

Sign of compliance. I am on the right track

Me : I don’t know why, but I feel good today;). It’s probably the magic tea that I drank just now. I decided to tune up the mood. I stirred it up a bit in a fun flirty way.

Me : Are you still alive?( 1 hour after the last message). A bad move. But she was leaving town for a week in 2 days while I will be leaving France before she returns. I decided to go all out.

Her : Sorry, I am studying at the same time. Magic tea? Signs of interest but her mind is occupied somewhere else.

Me : I drank it before talking to you, but it’s hard to swallow. I’m not sure if you are capable of drinking it. Rebuilding momentum

Her : But there is something inside?Her text becoming shorter and less vibrant. I’m losing out

Me : Yes! We add some love potion inside. Olalala. I’ll have to be careful then. I decided to spike it up back. I put the blame on her.

Her : Hahaha. Spike backfired or she simply is too busy(my ego blaming her homework)

Me : We will see if you can resist it. Tomorrow evening we will try it. Last throw of the dice for the night. I landed on side 1 of the dice.

She replied the next day,

Her : Sorry, I was studying till late night yesterday, could not text back. She reinitiated. My ego was right. She was just too busy or maybe she decided to give me another chance.

Me : Cool, I’ m at Burger King now with my friends. Can’t find anything green here. Not too bad to start back.

Her : Hahaha.

Me : So yeah, see you later at 6 pm. Place Bellecour. For the obvious reasons. I knew the chances were slim

No reply from her side.

After 2 weeks, I texted her back just to test Krauser’s repinging text examples.

Me : A dog started following be on my way back. Weird……

Her : Live long abandon dogs 😉 It worked

Time was not on my side, hence the peculiar need to push for the date the next day itself. The girl was a high yes girl. Reply rates within 10 minutes for all the replies, playing along my lines, and even retexting me the next day. It was mine to lose or gain. Left or right, cat or dog , rain or sunshine, circumstances were against me. I did not see this turning around the other way.

A few bits :

  1. The girls interest should not be taken for granted. I should have built more comfort over the text rather than doing the twat game.

  2. I started well but lost out towards the end.

  3. I threw the dice at the low point of the interaction. Bad move.

  4. The extraction looked forced upon. Never natural enough.

  5. She pinged me back the next day, even apologizing. I guess I didn’t do that bad.

  6. The ping back** after 2 weeks worked, but I was such an idiot not to follow it up just until a few days ago. If she replies, long game beckons.

Text games are another beast. I had similar text experience with another girl that ended no where but lesson llearned. I am currently long gaming “The Beannie Girl” who is slowly starting to fade off **(she is a difficult one for my level of game) and another Malaysian girl I NBC during my first day game session at KL a few weeks ago. She is actually a friend of a friend whom I haven’t meet in 4 years. Well, the street is a mysterious dark lane, and I somehow crossed path with her. She is a HB6 but would qualify as a HB7 for those who are into dusky Arabic looking girls. The connection looks good but she currently works in another state preventing any chance of a date. She seemed fun and naughty but also emotionally vulnerable. Failure or success, this will be interesting.

* The French girl is due. The reply never came.

**Beanie girl is still on. Long game lightens up again.

K-selected fashion and R -selected fashion

 I know, I know, what happened to October Sarging 3rd and 4th week!!! I have not stopped daygaming of course. I went out, had upsets, got mind fucked, re-analysed my game, got some help and recovered. Now at 800 sets, still 0 lays but I learned valuable lessons which unlocked another level of my game. I will leave that story for another blog post where I will capture my tale during the 2 last weeks of the chill October autumn in Lyon.

Now, lets talk about K/R selections. This is a short post, something simple, nothing fancy, but stung me like a bee to the heart. Jimmy Jambone ,Krauser and other gamers have vastly talked and written about this mindblowing scientific theory. Each of them with different views of course.So basically,


R-selected : The lover or player

K-selected : The boyfriend or provider


R- dressing style

Each of these categories has their own dressing style which creates the appropriate vibe. So technically, R-selected men, the so-called players,serial seducers and the wannabe PUA(once me), would opt for the bad boy style. Leather jackets, skull sketched T-shirt, dark jeans and randy boots. Well, I agree, all these gives a real masculine vibe or even better, a strong “Alpha” model appearing on Harley Davidson ads. Now wait!Wait!Wait! Look back at the picture above, look at the black guy(dark-skinned guys such as me included here). How he would look without the unclassy accessories. Like a mafia war leader. His facial features radiates masculinity, the R- selected dressing style amplifies it even further. The headphone, nasty shoes in his right hand, the old man coat in his left hand and the chode like bag at least prevents the FBI or CIA from locking the man down in the dark dirty cellar. He is safe, at least for the time being.

Being stupid and ignorant,I followed the R-selected fashion style theory blindly, thinking that the multiplied bad boy light will help me bang chicks(I don’t carry shoes or bags of course). In the end, it’s just a theory. It worked for Krauser and probably some other daygamers , but let’s admit it, he is white and has a baby face. Dressing the R way brings a dangerous mysterious aura around him which neutralizes his baby face. I in return ,look like a bad boy from top to bottom, not boasting, people around me said it before. Going gangster backfired, and backfired badly. A step further, the geography or the environment of the day game venue plays a role. Dressing up is compulsory in France, if you do daygame then it’s mandatory, or else just stay at home, play video games and suck on a popsicle. I learned this quite late, my ego crushed, but was glad that I made the much-needed changes to my style. I go with a blazer, chinos and dressing shoes since the turmoil. This flipped the switch and the results were lightly electrifying. I rarely had blatant blowouts where the girl ignores me completely. The first impression worked wonders. As a beginner, this is vital as we can appear uncalibrated during certain sets. I understand why those chodes that I met in Lyon don’t come out anymore. For any players who is aiming to shoot your arrow in France, get your style game tight and go for K- dressing style.

Okay, now let’s go a bit more forward. How would a white guy with baby face look if he dresses the K – way.

(Left: Classy) (Right: Chode)

The college nerd on the right is a surreal pussy repellent. Losing those dorky glasses and replacing the blazer with a leather jacket and tight jeans might do him some good. His hair needs some adjustment too. A bit of saliva plus bubble gum would work I guess. The black guy on the left meanwhile ooze pure coolness. He would probably get a few IOI’s on the street from girls preying on dark skin. R or K does not matter. However, striking a balance between these two with what you were born with  is a must.

No more wing mans!!!!

I have come to know around 7 gamers or wing mans. So far only one guy worked for me out of these 7. I wouldn’t blame them as I met the rest through a local forum. The first guy, largely overweight bus driver who have been daygaming for about 3 years. I couldn’t find any word to describe his approaches. I tried helping him with my minimalistic daygame skills but I am yet to become a teacher, I failed. We never contacted each other after that as there were a clear miss in chemistry between us.

Nevertheless, the next guy I meet gave me some hope. He was a law student trying to get out of his nice guy image. We chatted once and exchanged numbers but never went daygaming together for certain reasons. I sensed that he had huge approach anxiety, even more than me. We lost contact as the semester came to an end a few weeks later. I meet 2 guys in Lyon after that, they called themselves advanced players, gaming for about 5-8 years. I was excited as I finally got to meet someone experienced and I was beckoning for the chance to learn some new insights.

They approached, and failed at the first second. They failed to even make the girls stop. I was bemused, I had better game and skills than these guys. I did my own approaches and made a few solid conversation and got a number from a spanish girl. Once done, I looked around for them. I lost them. I then went back home alone thinking that I would not find the right wing man for me. One of the guy messaged me back, telling that he will call me for some nightgaming session. He never did. I was not interested in calling him either. To make things worst, I had another guy asking me to send him my photo as he didn’t feel safe to meet someone new. He even made fun of me telling that I do not have enough guts to approach girls. I ignored him.

Only once, I did well having a wingman. It was with my friend and current house mate. I introduction him to daygame and he was amused. He is still in the phase of getting over his high approach anxiety. I tried teaching him a bit while gaming for myself at the same time. But being a positive person and having good chemistry with me, we make a good team. I realized that having a wing man is not essential for me, I have had the same results in both cases. However, I would surely work with one, if and only if we have the same mindset and positive energy. Do not go out with a person who discriminates you or bring downs your vibe. Having a wing man is like women having a manicure on their nails, its not essential but looks appealing if done properly, goes wrong then they are fucked.